Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
