He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
