That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
