A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
