Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
