She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
