Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
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