so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize