Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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