we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
