We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
