I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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