Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
