I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
