yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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