wat bout pragnant strippers??
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Who died my cat blue again?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize