Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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