I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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