I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
