I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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