Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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