I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
