her vagine was all disorganized.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
