hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
