i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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