I wish my penis had an off switch
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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