please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
50% drunk capacity currently
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
