I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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