If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize