After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
