I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
