Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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