Im at strip club and am horny
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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