Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
