I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize