Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
