didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I think I have vodka in my lungs
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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