How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
