quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
