dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
