The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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