I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
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