i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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