then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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