So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
