Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
