did you get engaged???
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
