She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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