I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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