I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
