I heard we made out
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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