I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
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