As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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