Say something about gay babies.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
