Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
