5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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