just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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