apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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