I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
it's like heaven, but drunker
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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