Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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