And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
