i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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