i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
