Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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