Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
