Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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