Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
