he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
