yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
