North Korea, Best Korea!
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
