im about as happy as oj after his trial
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize