We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
