dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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