I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
