Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize