So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
