You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize